The Abyss of Hell

It was approximately 9:00 pm October 15 when I was killed in a hailstorm of gunfire. I can't say they were in the wrong for killing me, I had done alot of things to aggravate them. I especially don't blame the federal agent that had been investigating the deaths and following me the past two and a half years. I am not really surprised they caught up with me either, I had gotten sloppy in my last remaining months alive. I had no longer taken the care which i normally took when disposing of the bodies. Oh well, that's another story.

The last sensation i felt in a physical body, was that of bullets tearing into me. They blasted through my chest, arms, and legs. The feeling was exhilarating, the pain unendurable. I had never experienced such pain or feeling in my twenty eight years of existence. At the time, I thought it would be the peak of my pain, that it was the most excruciating feeling I would ever feel. I was terribly mistaken in that thought.

After what seemed like hours of laying on the pavement, my blood oozing out of the bullet holes that riddled my body, sleep, or what felt like sleep began to seep through me. Yes through me, not over me. People always say that it sweeps over you, but this was different, my whole body, my entire soul in fact, was becoming painfully tired. Rather than fight it any longer, I let the sleep overtake my body.

What happened next was nothing like people expect, I did not feel my soul rise out of my body towards Heaven, not that I was expecting Heaven anyways. But it felt like I was falling. Slowly at first, then more and more rapidly like some unseen force ripped at my very soul to drag me to the next stage of existence.

During all this I was feeling somewhat odd. I had never ruled out the possibility of an afterlife, but I also had never expressed any such belief in one. The fact that I was still aware of what was happening to me was, in my opinion, remarkable. Suddenly, a surface raced up beneath me, and slammed with incredible force into my back. If I had still been attached to a body, the feeling I felt would surely have been equivalent to that of my back shattering. Everything went black.

When I opened my eyes, a searing, blinding white light engulfed me, I looked around and nothing met my sight. It was as though I was looking into a brilliant white abyss, seeing into infinity, yet seeing nothing. Was that what eternity was giving me? Nothing? I stood, at least I think I stood, you can't really be sure because you don't have a body anymore, therefore our usual senses do not apply any longer.

I was becoming more aware of the heat. I admit, I was expecting it to be hot, part of me still thought of Hell as the endless pit of fire with the embodiment of evil watching over you ever single day, forcing you to do manual labor. Well that's not what my Hell was like thus far. It was excruciatingly bright, and unbearably hot! It was as though my soul had taken shelter in the sweltering core of the sun.

I felt as though I was sweating profusely, which I of course wasn't (remember I have no body). I began calling out for somebody. I wasn't shouting for anyone in particular, just shouting to anybody that may hear me. There was no answer, which I found incredibly dissatisfying. After tiring myself quite a bit from yelling, and the heat. I sat, or what i perceived as sitting, back down on the ground.

I had a horrible feeling that I was utterly alone in Hell. It was going to be an awfully lonely eternity. Without notice, the surroundings went from sharp white, to pitch black. Pitch black is the only phrase which will come close to the kind of blackness I am describing. Everything was so terribly black, that light could have never existed in this place.

With the light, the temperature went as well. Incomprehensible cold swept through my area, seeping in through my soul. I felt around, half hoping for a blanket, but none such thing was to be found in Hell. Suddenly, I heard a shuffling to my left.

"Who is there?" I cried out. Nothing responded and the shuffling stopped. This same odd occurrence happened numerous more times throughout, for lack of a better word, night. The shuffling never came from the same position. At times it seemed to be from above.

When the light returned, the shuffling stopped. But something replaced it. Screaming, terrible, horrendous screaming. He hated screaming. When he killed, the pleasure was immediately gone if they managed to get a scream out. This was as if every girl he had murdered was now screaming at him, screaming endlessly. Nothing I tried could get it too stop.

When the darkness returned, the shuffling was much closer. At moments it seemed an arm's reach away. And just before the light returned, I felt something brush against my soul.

As with the shuffling, the screaming seemed much closer. The shrillness, and loudness would surely have ruptured my eardrums if I still possessed them. I began begging the Devil to make it stop. After hours, days, possibly months of begging him, I began pleading with God to forgive me, to forgive me for the sins I had committed on earth, pleaded for Him to release me from this torment. The torment hadn't even begun yet.

It seemed as though I had now been here for a millenia, but what I didn't know was that it had only been simple days back on Earth. I had no idea what the meaning of eternity was, and I probably never will understand it.

The darkness was now filled with movements, and feelings. Whatever it was touched me, and then began cutting me, or what felt like cutting. I would be stabbed, sliced, burned, all manner of terrible feelings of pain. It soon became quite clear that what was being done to me, All the unspeakable violence I had committed on others was now being inflicted upon to my soul. I was experiencing everything. Deep down I knew i deserved it, knew that I had brought it upon myself. That of course never made it easier.

Every time the light "comes on" I feel relieved, despite the awful, endless screaming. At night, my own screams of pain fill the black void of which my soul possesses, or rather possesses my soul. I em trapt in the abyss of Hell, and here I will remain for all time and eternity.

Waking Up

He woke with a start, his heart beating quickly. White light washed over his body, blinding his sight. Where was he? He started to sit up, yet was shocked to discover he was already sitting. He thought he could here voices, voices that seemed just out of reach, almost like they were in a different room. Were the voices in a different room? No he was now beginning to see movement all around him. Yes, there was definitely people moving about, but they all looked blurred and hazy, like the room was shrouded in fog. He focused his eyes harder. Yes now he could see them more clearly.

He appeared to be sitting in a large waiting room, not unlike one you would see in a hospital. Was that where he was? Was this the hospital? He looked around, people sat on chairs all around the room, looking around wonderingly, all with an almost childlike bliss and ignorance on their face. He wondered if that's the way he looked too. But why should he? He didn't even know where he was!

People, who looked very professional walked around the room, looking at clipboards, then walking to those sitting on chairs. He thought this must be a hospital or at least a doctors office. No it couldn't be, he had no need for a doctor. Or did he? He felt like something had happened, yet he couldn't grasp what. It seemed just out of reach, whatever the idea was. He heard his name spoken softly.

He looked up and saw an attractive woman standing before him. No, not attractive. That didn't seem right to say though, while she was beautiful, no human words seemed fit to describe her elegance and grace.

"How are you feeling William?" she asked. Her voice was smooth and soft, as though it flowed directly from her thoughts, rather than her mouth.

"Um, alright I guess." He replied awkwardly. He looked around, feeling somewhat distressed about not remembering how he got here.

"Trying to remember?" she smiled softly, comfortingly.

"yes, well I'm slightly confused as to where i am? I don't feel as though i am injured so i don't know why i am at a hospital?"

"Your not at a hospital William, Your in a waiting room." She continued to smile reassuringly.

"A waiting room for what?" he asked curiously.

"You are waiting for us to get your results back."

"Results?"

"Yes, right now a panel is going over your records, working very hard at finding the best place for you." She continued to beam with light and happiness.

"Wait a minute, place for me? why not my home?"

"Well, William you are home now. We are just waiting to find out where exactly you will be residing. Your entire life is now in review with our panel, they are experts, within a few minutes they should have found your perfect spot, the spot to make it your perfect heaven."

He stared blankly for a second, trying to absorb what she had just said. He looked up, grinning he said, "Oh ha ha, that is very funny. I'm not sure i quite get your humour, but in all seriousness, where am i?" He stared smiling, which slowly lessened as she continued to look blissfully happy, not at all like she was having a laugh at him. "I'm sorry, but i would really like to know where it is i am?"

"Oh William, you are in Heaven of course!" She seemed delighted to share this news with him.

"That is not possible. I have not yet died, plus i don't believe in any such place." He was no longer smiling, no longer seeing any comedy in this situation. It was terribly wrong to mock somebody when they are severely confused like he is.

"William, i am not mocking you." She said calmly.

He shuddered, he was positive he hadn't said that bit out loud. So how did she know he had thought it?

"Because my dear William, you are in Heaven, I am in charge of getting you settled, i know all your thinking!"

"What are you supposed to be an Angel?" he asked, rather rudely.

"Well, if you want to call me that, sure i am an Angel. But if i am, so are you! This is just what i do for a..well not a living, we don't have to do anything. I help people get settled because i enjoy it!"

He sat there calculating the situation, he looked around the room. Others had a similar look of confusion and frustration like he felt. He also noticed people smiling as they stood and walked with the professional out a doorway. He tried getting a glimpse out of the doorway but only saw white.

his curiosity had been sparked. "So they are deciding if I'm going to Heaven or Hell are they?"

"No, no, no!" she said laughing. Her laugh sounded as though the radiated with beauty, perfection and love. "You have already made it to Heaven, they are deciding where to place you in heaven, they are as we speak constructing your perfect Heaven to which you shall spend eternity enjoying!"

He still wasn't convinced. "If i am dead, how did i die?"

"You were in a terrible car accident, I'm afraid many of the people around you were involved in the same accident."

"was it, you know, was it my fault?" he asked worriedly.

"don't worry William, you were not the cause."

he felt relieved. if this happened to really be real he did not want to be the cause of other deaths. he began thinking hard. perfect Heaven? he liked the sound of that. he was in Heaven now! he had done it, he had lived a good life. yes it had been short, but it had been good, now he was in Heaven. the idea began to be comfortable.

he became aware of a man speaking to the woman. they were whispering urgently. He smiled at her as she nodded and turned to him. "Is something wrong?" he asked hesitantly.

"Well, yes William, there is. Apparently there has been a mistake."

his heart sank, did this mean he was going to Hell?

"No, no, nothing of that sort. It's just that your life is not complete enough to construct you a place Here. meaning it wasn't your time to go!" she smiled happily.

"What does this mean for me then?" he asked, feeling somewhat dejected.

"It means you are going back. But i must warn you, you will experience more pain than you have ever imagined when you wake." she looked slightly worried, but she still smiled at him.

"Why? Why can't i just wake up home in bed?"

"Your body is still in the smashed car where you died. It has only been seconds on earth, people are still reacting to the accident. In fact, nobody has yet had the time to dial your emergency responders. But the good news is, your going to be fine, hurt a little, but fine in the long run."

"Can't i stay?" he asked, not bothering to act brave.

"I'm afraid not William, but we will see you again soon!" She smiled enthusiastically.

He began to feel the sensation of falling, he watched the room blur and zoom above as he fell through it. he sailed downward, like a shooting star through the night sky.....

He gasped as he opened his eyes. Everything was flooded in red, because of the blood smeared over his face. His head throbbed as if a sledgehammer was keeping time like a metronome against it. He tried lifting his arm and cried out in pain, his arm was bent backwards in a horrendous break.

He remembered watching the semi truck barreling towards him, he remembered the initial contact. then everything went blank until now. he obviously had been in the vehicle the entire time, there was no way to get out at the moment, yet he had the curious feeling that he had been somewhere else. He looked around at his surroundings. This was bad, he was in very bad shape. Even as he thought it, he had a comforting feeling that he was going to be just fine. He didn't know where the feeling came from, but he knew it was true. He was going to be fine.