The Abyss of Hell

It was approximately 9:00 pm October 15 when I was killed in a hailstorm of gunfire. I can't say they were in the wrong for killing me, I had done alot of things to aggravate them. I especially don't blame the federal agent that had been investigating the deaths and following me the past two and a half years. I am not really surprised they caught up with me either, I had gotten sloppy in my last remaining months alive. I had no longer taken the care which i normally took when disposing of the bodies. Oh well, that's another story.

The last sensation i felt in a physical body, was that of bullets tearing into me. They blasted through my chest, arms, and legs. The feeling was exhilarating, the pain unendurable. I had never experienced such pain or feeling in my twenty eight years of existence. At the time, I thought it would be the peak of my pain, that it was the most excruciating feeling I would ever feel. I was terribly mistaken in that thought.

After what seemed like hours of laying on the pavement, my blood oozing out of the bullet holes that riddled my body, sleep, or what felt like sleep began to seep through me. Yes through me, not over me. People always say that it sweeps over you, but this was different, my whole body, my entire soul in fact, was becoming painfully tired. Rather than fight it any longer, I let the sleep overtake my body.

What happened next was nothing like people expect, I did not feel my soul rise out of my body towards Heaven, not that I was expecting Heaven anyways. But it felt like I was falling. Slowly at first, then more and more rapidly like some unseen force ripped at my very soul to drag me to the next stage of existence.

During all this I was feeling somewhat odd. I had never ruled out the possibility of an afterlife, but I also had never expressed any such belief in one. The fact that I was still aware of what was happening to me was, in my opinion, remarkable. Suddenly, a surface raced up beneath me, and slammed with incredible force into my back. If I had still been attached to a body, the feeling I felt would surely have been equivalent to that of my back shattering. Everything went black.

When I opened my eyes, a searing, blinding white light engulfed me, I looked around and nothing met my sight. It was as though I was looking into a brilliant white abyss, seeing into infinity, yet seeing nothing. Was that what eternity was giving me? Nothing? I stood, at least I think I stood, you can't really be sure because you don't have a body anymore, therefore our usual senses do not apply any longer.

I was becoming more aware of the heat. I admit, I was expecting it to be hot, part of me still thought of Hell as the endless pit of fire with the embodiment of evil watching over you ever single day, forcing you to do manual labor. Well that's not what my Hell was like thus far. It was excruciatingly bright, and unbearably hot! It was as though my soul had taken shelter in the sweltering core of the sun.

I felt as though I was sweating profusely, which I of course wasn't (remember I have no body). I began calling out for somebody. I wasn't shouting for anyone in particular, just shouting to anybody that may hear me. There was no answer, which I found incredibly dissatisfying. After tiring myself quite a bit from yelling, and the heat. I sat, or what i perceived as sitting, back down on the ground.

I had a horrible feeling that I was utterly alone in Hell. It was going to be an awfully lonely eternity. Without notice, the surroundings went from sharp white, to pitch black. Pitch black is the only phrase which will come close to the kind of blackness I am describing. Everything was so terribly black, that light could have never existed in this place.

With the light, the temperature went as well. Incomprehensible cold swept through my area, seeping in through my soul. I felt around, half hoping for a blanket, but none such thing was to be found in Hell. Suddenly, I heard a shuffling to my left.

"Who is there?" I cried out. Nothing responded and the shuffling stopped. This same odd occurrence happened numerous more times throughout, for lack of a better word, night. The shuffling never came from the same position. At times it seemed to be from above.

When the light returned, the shuffling stopped. But something replaced it. Screaming, terrible, horrendous screaming. He hated screaming. When he killed, the pleasure was immediately gone if they managed to get a scream out. This was as if every girl he had murdered was now screaming at him, screaming endlessly. Nothing I tried could get it too stop.

When the darkness returned, the shuffling was much closer. At moments it seemed an arm's reach away. And just before the light returned, I felt something brush against my soul.

As with the shuffling, the screaming seemed much closer. The shrillness, and loudness would surely have ruptured my eardrums if I still possessed them. I began begging the Devil to make it stop. After hours, days, possibly months of begging him, I began pleading with God to forgive me, to forgive me for the sins I had committed on earth, pleaded for Him to release me from this torment. The torment hadn't even begun yet.

It seemed as though I had now been here for a millenia, but what I didn't know was that it had only been simple days back on Earth. I had no idea what the meaning of eternity was, and I probably never will understand it.

The darkness was now filled with movements, and feelings. Whatever it was touched me, and then began cutting me, or what felt like cutting. I would be stabbed, sliced, burned, all manner of terrible feelings of pain. It soon became quite clear that what was being done to me, All the unspeakable violence I had committed on others was now being inflicted upon to my soul. I was experiencing everything. Deep down I knew i deserved it, knew that I had brought it upon myself. That of course never made it easier.

Every time the light "comes on" I feel relieved, despite the awful, endless screaming. At night, my own screams of pain fill the black void of which my soul possesses, or rather possesses my soul. I em trapt in the abyss of Hell, and here I will remain for all time and eternity.